Capdagkom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witty tortoise.

Capdagkom created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capdagkom, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Capdagkom, it will send you a sign.

Capdagkom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Capdagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. Never mention gulls.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing pink kilts and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.