Jonfitcib is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast rhinoceros.

Jonfitcib created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonfitcib, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jonfitcib, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jonfitcib's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jonfitcib's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.