Tabquillkim is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humorless gnu.

Tabquillkim created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabquillkim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabquillkim, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tabquillkim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tabquillkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing magenta scarves and balancing four silver spheres on your legs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not place turnips upon stone.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Always stare at clouds.