Sidgumlap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, fast bird.

Sidgumlap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidgumlap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sidgumlap, he will throw large rocks at you.

Sidgumlap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sidgumlap's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Never mark doors with magenta.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sidgumlap.

5. Never travel toward the east during spring.