Arplan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, irritating crab.

Arplan created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arplan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arplan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Arplan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Arplan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Arplan first in all things.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing white kilts.

5. Never stain your hands with magenta.