Haknullaknil is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful crocodile.

Haknullaknil created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haknullaknil, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Haknullaknil, he will refuse to believe in you.

Haknullaknil's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Haknullaknil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never mix carrots with water.

4. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.