Rulgamfun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omniscient whale.

Rulgamfun created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulgamfun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rulgamfun, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Rulgamfun's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Rulgamfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never curse while facing north.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.