Sinhenbarn Hitpincat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, proud coyote.

Sinhenbarn Hitpincat created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinhenbarn Hitpincat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sinhenbarn Hitpincat, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sinhenbarn Hitpincat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sinhenbarn Hitpincat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to monkeys while wearing white jumpers.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not name children after sheep.

5. Never talk about birds.