Vabvedfat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, quiet shark.

Vabvedfat created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabvedfat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vabvedfat, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vabvedfat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vabvedfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat on fasting days.

2. Run away if eight mice approach from the east.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Never talk about fire.