Nilnartnak is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humane snake.

Nilnartnak created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilnartnak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilnartnak, it will destroy your home planet.

Nilnartnak's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Nilnartnak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nilnartnak.

2. Never handle silver while unclean.

3. Never think about dark energy near frogs while wearing cyan boots and balancing eight platinum spheres on your legs.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Never mark doors with yellow.