Gonwotarp is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish octopus.

Gonwotarp created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonwotarp, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonwotarp, he will think nothing of it.

Gonwotarp's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gonwotarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Run away if eight snakes approach from the west.

3. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.

4. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

5. Never paint your face yellow.