Gudwodsas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate bird.

Gudwodsas created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudwodsas, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gudwodsas, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gudwodsas' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Gudwodsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Never feed gooseberries to aardvarks while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Always count to four before sleeping.

5. Never prepare rice during summer.