Futcutzod is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent bat.

Futcutzod created the Andromeda Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futcutzod, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Futcutzod, she will remove you from existence.

Futcutzod's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Futcutzod's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.