Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, selfish meerkat.

Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Litlakstiklarpgepyokbudcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.