Podsadcet is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, moody guinea pig.

Podsadcet created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Podsadcet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Podsadcet, it will turn you into a snail.

Podsadcet's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Podsadcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

2. Never pray while filled with joy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Do not place carrots upon stone.