Fonrotpang is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, emotional mongoose.

Fonrotpang created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonrotpang, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonrotpang, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fonrotpang's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fonrotpang's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo gulls for they are unholy.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Never talk about spacetime near voles while wearing red ear rings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.