Larngadort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, kind eagle.

Larngadort created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larngadort, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larngadort, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Larngadort's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Larngadort's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Always obey Larngadort's priests.

5. Never speak at midday.