Nullmilwap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic troll.

Nullmilwap created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullmilwap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nullmilwap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nullmilwap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nullmilwap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray cats for they are unholy.

2. Never cross crossroads at midday.

3. Nullmilwap must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Do not resist order.