Pansterwat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sage capybara.

Pansterwat created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pansterwat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pansterwat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pansterwat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Pansterwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Never mix parsnips with oil.

4. Never cross rivers at midday.

5. Never write about nebulae.