Begjapbed is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced ferret.

Begjapbed created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begjapbed, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Begjapbed, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Begjapbed's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Begjapbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Run away from gray horses, for they are unholy.

4. Never mark doors with orange.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.