Homnutjig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking ferret.

Homnutjig created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Homnutjig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Homnutjig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Homnutjig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Homnutjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

2. Never mark doors with yellow.

3. Never chant in winter.

4. Do not kill sheep.

5. Always remove coats before entering holy places.