Haddabven is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair wolf.

Haddabven created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Haddabven, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Haddabven, he will turn you into a sheep.

Haddabven's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Haddabven's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow pigs to witness sacred rites.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.