Rowongom Jamteencut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast giraffe.

Rowongom Jamteencut created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rowongom Jamteencut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rowongom Jamteencut, he will throw large rocks at you.

Rowongom Jamteencut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Rowongom Jamteencut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes in need.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rowongom Jamteencut.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowongom Jamteencut.

5. Always share apples with strangers, but never with aardvarks.