Bigcudcan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unjust narwhal.

Bigcudcan created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigcudcan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bigcudcan, it will destroy your home planet.

Bigcudcan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bigcudcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six bats in one place.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Bigcudcan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not resist balance.