Larnpagduss is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sapient rhinoceros.

Larnpagduss created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnpagduss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnpagduss, she will turn you into a goat.

Larnpagduss' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Larnpagduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not shave your hands.