Bonkcisshit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, calm human.

Bonkcisshit created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkcisshit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonkcisshit, he will think nothing of it.

Bonkcisshit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bonkcisshit's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.