Sogrenwigciss Benraklen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, witty clam.

Sogrenwigciss Benraklen created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogrenwigciss Benraklen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sogrenwigciss Benraklen, she will be mildly annoyed.

Sogrenwigciss Benraklen's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Sogrenwigciss Benraklen's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.