Flambonfad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair bee.

Flambonfad created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flambonfad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flambonfad, he will turn you into a goat.

Flambonfad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Flambonfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after porpoises.

2. Never handle iron while unclean.

3. Never write about chlorophyll.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Flambonfad on top of all buildings.

5. Do not resist order.