Rigjipjan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing mole.

Rigjipjan created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigjipjan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rigjipjan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rigjipjan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Rigjipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Dogs are not to be trusted.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

4. Do not take Rigjipjan's name in vain.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.