Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful shark.

Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to dolphins while wearing orange stockings.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never paint your hands fawn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Queegwegyok Dunpasyogfonarf.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.