Rakyarldib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome monkey.

Rakyarldib created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rakyarldib, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakyarldib, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Rakyarldib's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Rakyarldib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near moths while wearing brown coats and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.

2. Do not jump at forests.

3. Always look after injured sharks.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not prepare nuts while wearing rings.