Gepmondad Artmumnart is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever weasel.

Gepmondad Artmumnart created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepmondad Artmumnart, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gepmondad Artmumnart, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gepmondad Artmumnart's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gepmondad Artmumnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing pink shorts and balancing six copper spheres on your neck.

4. Never hop in the presence of elders.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.