Kinflanmil is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless penguin.

Kinflanmil created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinflanmil, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kinflanmil, it will be very sad.

Kinflanmil's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Kinflanmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Kinflanmil on top of all buildings.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.