Sigrownarl Vinfossjop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet ant.

Sigrownarl Vinfossjop created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigrownarl Vinfossjop, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sigrownarl Vinfossjop, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sigrownarl Vinfossjop's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Sigrownarl Vinfossjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Retreat if four birds approach from the north.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.