Farnfuddit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, impressive turtle.

Farnfuddit created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Farnfuddit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farnfuddit, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Farnfuddit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Farnfuddit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Farnfuddit.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick birds.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.