Sidsakbest is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, grumpy zebra.

Sidsakbest created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidsakbest, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sidsakbest, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sidsakbest's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sidsakbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Worship no other gods but Sidsakbest.