Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty dryad.

Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip, she will ignore you.

Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gutstanyartlikluntarpmip Jabpagloopwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never point your head toward the north during prayer.