Pinsterten is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, annoying monkey.

Pinsterten created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinsterten, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pinsterten, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pinsterten's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pinsterten's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick pigs.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Run away from violet turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if five badgers approach from the east.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pinsterten.