Kadkamstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unselfish gerbil.

Kadkamstaf created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadkamstaf, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kadkamstaf, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kadkamstaf's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Kadkamstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never approach forests carrying wood.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.