Jigfotkim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, capable hippopotamus.

Jigfotkim created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigfotkim, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jigfotkim, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jigfotkim's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jigfotkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

2. Never eat corn.

3. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.