Tapriltarp is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak dingo.

Tapriltarp created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tapriltarp, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tapriltarp, she will remove you from existence.

Tapriltarp's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tapriltarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never eat figs on days of mourning.