Maddaghon is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, prudent fish.

Maddaghon created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Maddaghon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Maddaghon, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Maddaghon's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Maddaghon's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during holy days.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Maddaghon.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.