Ranvolfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable chicken.

Ranvolfon created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranvolfon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranvolfon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ranvolfon's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Ranvolfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always store figs above ground.

5. Never pour water over plants.