Dussjannillfumnan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet monkey.

Dussjannillfumnan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussjannillfumnan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dussjannillfumnan, she will destroy your favourite star.

Dussjannillfumnan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Dussjannillfumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after snakes.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never speak the names of comets aloud.