Catzenquart is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking skunk.

Catzenquart created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Catzenquart, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Catzenquart, she will try to impress you with trees.

Catzenquart's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Catzenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to foxes while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.