Stan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, competent troll.

Stan created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stan, it will turn you into a snail.

Stan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Stan's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with violet.

2. Stan loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never allow dolphins to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.