Fotarnbarn is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing manatee.

Fotarnbarn created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fotarnbarn, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fotarnbarn, it will turn you into a snail.

Fotarnbarn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fotarnbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

2. Never bounce in the presence of sheep.

3. Always help swans.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Fotarnbarn loves geese, so they must be honoured.