Cantafgov Bagflowmip is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sage crab.

Cantafgov Bagflowmip created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cantafgov Bagflowmip, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cantafgov Bagflowmip, he will refuse to believe in you.

Cantafgov Bagflowmip's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cantafgov Bagflowmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

5. Never curse while facing south.