Dissjopnig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous centaur.

Dissjopnig created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dissjopnig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dissjopnig, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dissjopnig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dissjopnig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dissjopnig seven times a day.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.