Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, uncaring spider.

Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Higmipingkanfeddamhatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

2. Always act with patience.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near hamsters while wearing violet shorts and balancing nine tin spheres on your back.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to doves while wearing black jumpers.